If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
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