Do you still have your period?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
