people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
