hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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