Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
