I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
