4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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