Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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