epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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