allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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