Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
