Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize