Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
