Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
