I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize