it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
