she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
