Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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