funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
