The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
