He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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