it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize