He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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