I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
