We're facebook friends in real life
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
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