so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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