My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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