I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
