Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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