She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
