No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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