I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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