I am puke
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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