the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize