Non-Jews are for practice
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Boobs speak an international language.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Randomize
