A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
He uses pillows to masturbate.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize