I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
