he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
