She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
