I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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