you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
