Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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