hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
