Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
