ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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