i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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