When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
