yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
