girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
