we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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