i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
