It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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