her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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