so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
