She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
