There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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