you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
