Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Is Oprah even human
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
