i think my tv is drunk
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
