Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize