We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
